Raiders DT Desmond Bryant’s mugshot is phenomenal

Early on Sunday, Raiders free agent defensive tackle Desmond Bryant was arrested in South Florida and charged with criminal mischief. On Monday, Bryant’s mugshot surfaced. And IT. IS. MAGICAL:


A lot is still unclear about what led to the arrest (the Chronicle said Bryant caused a “commotion” at a neighbor’s house), so there are some important questions yet to be answered with that. But after viewing this masterpiece of a mugshot, we have other, more-pressing questions:

  • Where is his shirt?
  • Does he at least have pants on?
  • How upset is Nick Nolte that he no longer has the greatest mugshot ever?
  • When was the last time this man had a drink of water?
  • Is his tongue going to be okay?
  • Did the cops’ breathalyzer even register how supremely shithammered he was?
  • Have we ruled out bath salts?
  • How ashamed are you that this guy has a Harvard degree and you don’t?

H/T Deadspin

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