Try to contain your excitement. The Pro Bowl is just under two weeks away!
The thing about this year’s Pro Bowl is that it’s going to be unlike any other. This year, the NFL has decided to completely and shamelessly rip off the NHL by having both teams drafted by two captains playground style. Does that make you feel almost interested in watching the Pro Bowl? Same here!
Your captains in the Pro Bowl are none other than Deion Sanders and Jerry Rice. And today Deion did his part to spice up the Pro Bowl, long the “man, I guess” of NFL players’ offseasons, even more by promising to “suit up” for the game, which we presume means he would actually play in the contest.
Ladies and Gentlemen I am officially announcing "I WILL SUIT UP IN HAWAII" Please let @JerryRice know that a real captain leads by example!
— DeionSanders (@DeionSanders) January 13, 2014
Deion I would beat you down like the old days! We can suit up but it would be very painful for you!
— Jerry Rice (@JerryRice) January 14, 2014
This brought our interest in the Pro Bowl to a level that shatters the previous mark. We might actually have to watch the Pro Bowl now, or at the very least DVR it, which itself would be a new personal achievement. It would be like that movie “Grudge Match,” except it’s football, and you don’t have to see Sylvester Stallone with his shirt off.
But because it is intent on sucking all life out of this world, the NFL swiftly put the kebash on any plans of Prime Time, 46, and Rice, 51, strapping on the pads for a few downs, which is stupid, because this is the exact type of gimmick that would drum up good publicity for the game and get people interested in actually tuning in to the red-headed stepchild event of the league’s non-regular season calendar.
Here’s what the league told Pro Football Talk:
A league spokesman tells PFT that Sanders won’t be playing in the all-star game, but that he and fellow captain Jerry Rice “will be spending the full week with their clubs beyond the draft, attending practices, on the sidelines for gameday.”
Booooo! I’m gonna go out on a limb and guess that there’s some boring insurance stuff that’s involved here. Can’t have two old guys going out there and breaking their hips or slipping a disc! Which, again, would be a stupid assumption because Jerry Rice, even over 50, is still probably a better athlete and in better physical condition than some of the other guys in the Pro Bowl, especially if a bunch of the players have been partying all week in Hawaii.
Anyway, the draft should be fun, in an everybody-making-jokes-about-each-other-all-night sort of way. We’ve joked that the draft might actually get higher ratings than the game itself. We still wouldn’t be surprised.